You've been called out sweet potato fries.

I don’t have a problem with sweet potato fries.

I love sweet potato fries.

But if you are going to offer them to me under the name of ‘Sweet fries” I am going to throw this menu at your throat in a manner that will be startling but ultimately harmless.

Why? Because the name Sweet Fries implies a different new type of potato-like side dish. One with hot fudge and caramel sauce oozing over the thin cuts of a deep fired starch. Sweet fries makes me think of sweet tea. Sweet tea the mascot of Southern beverage deliciousness. Would sweet fries carry on that masterful tradition. Are sweet fries from the south? Are they dipped in sweet tea? I need to know.

But instead you tell me they are sweet potato fries. And I am disappointed. Because even though I enjoy sweet potato fries, I am a little over them. It was really fun, when they were new and not a lot of restaurants had them. Now it is a requirement for the gastropub and dining centers (I don't know what I mean by that but I like the sound of it). Because of this prolific nature of sweet potato fries, quality is inconsistent. Some sweet potato fries are just like fries, thin, crispy, salty. But some sweet potato fries adn huge wedges of potato that are more mushy than crispy, so it feels like you are eating a warm potato, which feels more Thanksgiving at mom's that trendy, hip.  (I am looking at you, The Lowry on Hennepin in Minneapolis) [Also when did I get into naming names of restaurants? This calling out is new to me.] I am ready for the next novelty side-dish.

And you can't just call sweet potato fries, sweet fries. Unless we are going to start identifying all types of fries by a taste adjective, like salty fries. But why stop there? We should call them by there most true name: Artery clogging, hip expanding, fat ass inducing, out of shape maker fries? That would help people understand exactly what they were ordering. Don't get me wrong, I am all about fries of all kinds and I know some food choices I make are not the most artery clearing, hip strengtheing, ass-reducing, in shape makers. I enjoy all stripes of food. But if we are going to start renaming all of the side dishes, maybe we should just call them what they are.

Because sweet potato fries are not sweet fries.