Saturday, November 17, 2012

Hand Turkey Gallery

For your Saturday viewing pleasure please step into the limited time exhibit of North American Hand Turkeys. Please select an audio guide from the table and press the corresponding buttons to hear more about each piece. Press "1" now to hear about the history of the North American Hand Turkey.


The North American Hand Turkey is an indigenous species to North America, almost exclusively found in the United States. The species was developed shortly after the event "The First Thanksgiving" to both commemorate and communicate information about such an event. The hand turkey is often found in flocks, most frequently around schools. However, a solo hand turkey is not an uncommon sight. Today, in this gallery, you will see two of such solo hand turkeys.

Press "2" to hear about the first turkey in this exhibit.


This hand turkey is an unconventional hand turkey. You can see it is found on top of a pizza box. This is most irregular as hand turkeys are usually found 8 1/2 by 11 paper or on construction paper. Controversy has erupted in the art and biological world as to whether this particular bird is even a member of the hand turkey species. Experts have agreed that this example is a hand turkey due to the roughly hand shape of the animal, though purists resist this assessment saying the bird is more like a hand eagle because of the apparent flight this bird may be on, due to speed at which it's finger feathers are in the wind. As you can see the spine feathers of this bird seem, ruffled as if this bird was fleeing an attack, or perhaps suffering from an illness, disease or development disorder. These suspicions of ill health in this bird supports the unusual location in which this bird was found.

Press "3" to hear about the second turkey in this exhibit.


Now, here is an excellent classic example of the North American Hand Turkey. Note the strong, finger feather spread of this specimen. This bird also exhibits the classic autumnal colors of a hand turkey: orange and brown, though reds and yellows are common as well. Rainbow hand turkeys are also frequently spotted and a delight to the avid hand turkey watcher. More striking about this example is the pilgrim hat that this turkey is wearing. Hand turkeys enjoy wearing pilgrim gear and can even be found wearing bonnets (on the female hand turkeys) and buckles shoes (on both genders.) The buckle hat on this bird clearly indicates a male and the word cloud tells us that this is an older bird. Mature hand turkeys do develop speaking ability usually saying "Happy Thanksgiving."  This hand turkey is speaking English and wishing "Florian" a happy thanksgiving. This is highly unorthodox, as Florian is German who is living in Austria right now. It seems as if this hand turkey is on a migration to Europe. Very unusual. Perhaps this bird is bringing goodwill as an ambassador of the hand turkeys? Maybe the hand turkey civilization has advanced so far that they have a government and are looking to gain allies in non-hand turkey settle countries? Are the hand turkeys looking to start a war? Does our government have a plan to deal with the inevitable take over by hand turkeys? Should we stock up on buckle hats, shoes and bonnets now?

Dear hand turkeys, please be gentle.

-Your loyal follower.

Press "4" to hear the conclusion of this exhibit.


Thank you for visiting the limited run of the North American Hand Turkey gallery. Please leave your audio guide at the door and visit the gift shop, where all the proceeds from today's purchases will be donated to the fight against the hand turkey invasion fund.

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