Face for Radio: Part 2

So I am a little famous again. 






They let me be on the radio!!!!






Yep, I was an Art Hound for Minnesota Public Radio this week. I talked about the show Dirty Girls Come Clean: The Return produced by Freshwater Theatre and  playing at Nimbus Theatre this weekend and next. I am pretty excited about this show because it sounds awesome and it is stuffed full of amazing performers. Like a turkey but you won't fall asleep.




And yes, I totally say that I am a woman in general. Which is now the name of my unwritten one-woman show. Heather Meyer: Generally a Woman. Buy your tickets now. Maybe I should start a Kickstarter about it. Hmmm... 

Gluten-Free Day Two.

I am doing the gluten-free thing for 30 days to see how that helps my gut party. I assume it will. But I have been nervous about taking this step and keep finding myriad of ways to postpone it. Then, in an after school special fashion, I decided to get real, and Jan 20th was the start of my 30 days of gluten-free. I am doing fine, obviously I am in the freak out beginning stages where EVERYTHING IS A BIG DEAL and I am sweaty in the pits about asking for gluten-free menu items. Yesterday I had a lunch date at Ruby Tuesdays, where my date asked for the gluten-free menu for me! And they had one. It was awesome. I celebrated that evening by ordering a gluten-free pizza from Pizza Luce! (I actually ordered two so I would have leftovers to help myself when I was hungry and weak at home to have a gluten-free snack/meal). So that was exciting. It is weird that I keep looking for restaurants to satisfy my food needs. Especially, when I get a bi-weekly CSA delivery of fresh veggies and normally make my own meals. I think it is the excitement of gluten-free has got me riled up. 


So you know, it really isn't a big deal. I am finding that being GF does require a constant vigilance that both President Bush and Mad-Eye Moody would approve of. Gluten is in everything! I know, right? What a great agent gluten has, I mean, how does gluten even have the time to be in all of these foods, doesn't it have a life to lead or a family to hang out with? The answer is no, gluten is just gluten it doesn't have anything else to do but show up in sauces and seasonings and stuff. 


That's all I got so far. I have armed myself with Larabars and GF recipes to keep myself on track. Godspeed gut. 

Time capsule! June 28th, 2009

Me as the best Maid of Honor ever.

It is awesome when I find essays buried deep in my computer. Here you go!

June 28, 2009

The Internet just informed me that my epic High School/Grade school/Beyond Crush was married in January. He is married. This really affects me. Why? I don’t know. I guess I always thought of him as a safe fantasy. But now he is married. I felt this way when Miss Eternal-Bags-Under-Her-Eyes took him to the prom. Why does the Internet know everything? Not that I ever really talked to this guy other than stammering self-consciously in 11th grade English class during an assignment about what would one need on a desert island. I said a swimming pool. I also remember having the fly on my black corduroy pants be down next to him during a movie in 10th grade and trying to figure out a subtle way to zip my fly back up, realizing now he wasn't ever looking at me and I could have just zipped it up and no one would have ever know but now I am telling the internet. I feel like I just missed some sort of deadline, like had I Googled him earlier, he would never have gotten married and could stay forever in my head as the guy I totally could have been with if I really wanted to. But he is married. I never would have guessed it. But I should have figured it out I have excellent taste. But I am a little bit vulnerable since I am coming off the best friend’s wedding thing where I was the most attractive and least married of all the bridesmaids and the only person that wanted to dance with me was the gay friend of the groom. I just wanted some Internet comfort food, some gazing at my untouchable crush and then he goes and gets married. Who am I to pine for now?

This is worse than my apartment manager thinking I have morning sickness when really I am doubled over from the lactose in the Caribou Coffee chai tea.

Oh, 2009. I am so glad you are gone. 

New favorite things and places to find me on the internet and real life

I have a lot of new favorite things right now. The least of which has been blogging. Don't you find it weird that when a neglected blog is updated that the blogger feels obligated to acknowledge or even apologize for their absence? Like I am doing right now.


Clearly, I have be so busy doing all of my new favorite things that I couldn't possible be expected to remember to blog all my delicate important observance into internet form. I mean I can't even muster up the energy (or confidence) to make a Facebook status update. (though Twitter that is another story, I am convinced I am pretty anonymous on Twitter so it takes less energy. And people talk less about food on there. So it is mildly more entertaining.)


Back on track here, new favorite things. Here they are:


sadplaywright.com


This is the premiere collection of sad playwrights in the world. If you need a play written, you need a sad playwright. Go there. Find a sad one. Create art. I even have a profile, even though the only sad I really ever am is occasionally a Seasonal Affective Disorder sufferer, but I can still be brooding. 


Off-Book at HUGE Improv Theater  produced by Emily Schmidt


This show is so much fun and I see a lot of shows. It is the perfect combination of scripted and improv combining an improviser with an actor who has memorized one half of a script. And then they perform the scene. It is like the short form improv game "blind line" but one step further. Get your tickets early, it has been selling out and Huge sells beers too! The show runs Saturdays at 8pm until January 7 and clear your life for December 17th because that is when I perform. 


Collections of comedic memoir essay books that make a passing reference to Alan Rickman


I read two books these week. Free Fire Zone by Teresa Rebeck and Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling and both of these awesome books make a super tiny reference to Alan Rickman! 
Note to self: When I write my book of comedic memoir essay make a tiny reference to Alan Rickman.
Note to everyone else: Don't be intimidated, I know by writing that I read two books this week makes me sound like a powerhouse of literature, but really I finished one book this week and then immediately started the other, I am not a machine I have improv shows to spaz out in.  


Pretending I am a doctor


Imagine a paper cut, then replace the paper with a 1/4 inch think plane of straight glass and that is what is one my thumb. I cut it on Thursday. There was a lot of blood. I covered it with three bandages and ate some figs hoping that would fix everything. It is pretty deep, maybe it needed stitches but maybe not. So now I am doing a lot of doctoring with butterfly bandages, iodine and thumb immobilization. It looks like it is working. It is pretty fun taking care of my wounded thumb, this must be what it's like to have a child. I hope my thumb gets into a good college. 


Delayed Winter


As I write this the first 'real' snowfall is happening in Minneapolis. By 'real' I mean a snowfall that will possibly hang around until March. We had a brief ice storm a few weeks ago but it melted away. But up until today, it was like summer all the time. I don't even know where my snow pants are yet! It has been really, really wonderful. And has put everyone in a great mood. This snow still could melt, I think it might. I also believe winter is over on March 1st because of physics. 


There you go, my new favorite things!

Summer of Being Famous: I think I might be nearing fall

Have you ever been reading through my blog and thought to yourself, "Hey, I wish I could learn even more about Heather but on a different blog?"


You know it.


Click here.






There you will learn all about me and my relationship with art. There is also a photo of my cat there. 


Michele Campell has created a series of interviews with all types of artists about their life of art. (I am one of the artists!) It's pretty cool. And Michele is pretty cool too, she speaks French. And she is funny. Really funny. 

Summer of bring Famous: Famous People I know

2011 is the summer of being famous. And who is more famous than my friends? No one!

Here is Brian and Brooke on their home makeover show!

http://twincitieslive.com/article/stories/s2250433.shtml?cat=10698

Here is more of Brooke on the same show:

http://twincitieslive.com/article/stories/S2250498.shtml?cat=10744

Famous. I know them.

How to take good pictures: A satire

Don't worry aspiring photographers. There are ten easy rules to taking great pictures. 

I also found a bunch of photos I took, please be impressed with my skills.

Look!



Rules to taking good photos:


1. Take a photo of something really close up. Make sure it is in focus. If it is not in focus then...

Ooh! A close-up of a cut red pepper!

 Doesn't it look like lady parts?

2. Make it black and white. Black and white can turn any crappy photo into a magical metaphor image things.

3. Take a photo of shoes. This is especially important if you want to be a wedding photographer. Shoes equal love and togetherness and family.

4. Take a photo with some type of reflection in a mirror. The mirror can be anything a silver goblet, car mirror, gold tooth.

5. Hands. Any photo of hands is going to win you a Noble Peace Prize for Science. They are that good.

6. Don't forget to take a picture of shoes. Wedding shoes, solider shoes, baby shoes, horseshoes, cement shoes.

Shoes on vacation!

7. Put a fancy something next to a ugly dirty something. Goes better together than chocolate and peanut butter and hay.

8. Have someone jump. Even if they are a mermaid. Especailly if they are a mermaid. People love photos of jumping. Because people never jump in real life.

9. Find a pregnant lady. Make her show you her belly. Put her in any situation (climbing a tree, smelling a brand new car). Take a picture of that.

10. Cats. There never are too many cat photos.