Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Hates. (Warning: The word moist is all over this)

I don't care about the word moist.

But I know you probably hate it. Or if you don't hate it (which I doubt), you know someone who hates the word or you know someone who is grossed out by it.

Oh, you don't know anyone like that?

That's because you know someone who is so passionately grossed out by the word moist, someone who hates moist so much they will cover their ears in its presence as if the intangible word, moist, will crawl up the side of their neck and stick its orally moistened finger into their ear and scoop out the moist living tissue inside.

People hate the word moist. But I say: get over it.

Cue: angry mob of moist hating people waiting to shout at me.

(This angry mob doesn't realize that I just need to shout the word moist at them and they will be powerless.)

Yes, moist is not the prettiest sounding word. Nor does it conjure up images of sturdy, green meadows or some benign something else.

Sure, being moist isn't the best feeling on a person or on anything else. (Except a moist towelette, those are awesome and the phrase moist towelette is a good combo. Nice work, towelette, at taking a chance on a despised word.)

Here's an article by David Pescovitz that addresses why people hate the word moist. (Hello David! I assumed you have a Google alert out on your name! Welcome to my blog!)

It's just a word. And a really stupid word at that, it is an adjective. An adjective! Adjectives are mainly useless, all they do is describe things when usually the noun they are describing can takes care of itself.

People, if you are going to be afraid of a word, at least make is a noun (murderer, snakes, spikes) or a verb (falling, bleeding, apologizing).

Moist is so, so....so obvious. But really non-threatening. Moist is a halfway word. When something is moist it really is just slightly more than damp, definitively not wet or soaking, which are more frigthening states of being. Nor is it dry or dehydrated--also scary. It's a halfway word, moist is non-committal, middle of the road, mediocre. Are you going to let a sort of word like that control your emotions?

Free yourself from your hate of moist. Be powerful, don't let a small word like moist keep you down.

Do you think you can empower yourself to not be affected by a five letter word?

Really?

Then here goes:

Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist, Moist.


This blog was brought to you by my most hated word: lyceum.


Ah gross, lyceum, get off the page!



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