Thursday, January 15, 2009

From my Wayback Memory

Sibling murderous intent.

I remember wanting to hurt him. Wanting to make him dead, wanting him to die forever. I can assume he felt the same way. The way we would tear and beat each other. From mimicked WWF moves to ninja kicks it was to dominate, to hurt to kill. But as soon as someone got hurt then hurtee was "just playing" and the hurter was the malicious one. But the hurter did feel remorse after the act, but in the moment of the attack all intent to hurt was there on both sides.

My defense was to bite and scratch. Stereotypical female response, but it work and what else did my pudgey body have against an older, more athletic brother? He never bit or scratched with intent, he used more blunt striking. Hitting my head on to the cement floor, kicking, punching, sitting and suffocating. I can't even count how many times I cried out, "I can't breathe." He usually replied, "But you can talk." But I couldn't breath mentally, I felt the gravity pulling this body into my chest and the panic of knowing soon the breathing could and would stop. He always stopped before it did.

I hated the fighting.

Monday, January 12, 2009


My eyes are hazy. Like looking through dry contacts or dirty glasses. Or both. When
I put the OPTIVE drops in my eyes focus a little better. People keep asking me if it
was worth it. I tell them, so far yes and my eyes still need to heal completely to
see where they land vision-wise. I am a fuzzy 20/20 right now. I do have a little of
the light halos and glaring. I don't know what ghosting is but I though I had it
yesterday when I saw a being float by my left eye, but that might have been an
actual ghost.

I should have asked Echo Bodine, she sees ghosts. I saw her on Saturday at
Border's doing a book signing. I think she was positioned awkwardly in the store.
She was at a table right at the entrance to the checkout. I see the thought behind
the placement, to get the most people past her. But people walking to the checkout line won't
stop to chat or buy a book when they already have made their purchasing decisions.
And if there are people behind them in line, they will not want to hold up the line,
it is Minnesota.

I didn't talk to her. I think I wanted to. I read a book of her's. Maybe she
only had that one there or the others. I only read one. I didn't know if you could
talk to authors unless you were having them sign the book. No one else was talking
to her; I assume that was her brother at the table with her. I overheard one of the
Border's employees talking to her about Facebook.

I didn't know what to say to her. I smiled and said and awkward, "Hello" to
her brother/male companion as I passed.

Obviously she doesn't read minds.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Vampires Make the Best Lovers

Who's not in love with a vampire. For real, who isn't? I am through two books of
the Twilight series. I saw the movie first. Then I had to read the books, just like
everyone else. Stephanie Meyer, she can really channel the teenage unlitmate crush.
The strong, handsome, eyes-only-for-you, protective, strong, intelligent, romantic,
soul-mated boy.

But who isn't in love with a vampire?


Who would win between Edward Cullen and Voldemort?

Voldemort already shut down this battle. Remember Cedric Diggory? Yep, Edward Cullen. He didn't even get a shot off and Voldemort took care of him.

Voldemort. Bad Guy of the Century.

Aside from the nose thing Mr. Fiennes is just that Mr. Fine. Robert Pattison, yes, indeed he was chiseled from the hotness tree, but can he rock the absence of a schnoze?