I have a secret skill.
Wrapping wedding gifts!
Tiny disco balls! I know, right?
But really my skill is in recognizing that I am terrible at using actual wrapping paper so much that anything I wrap in paper looks like a bloated diaper on an old shuffling man. (Yes, he must be shuffling. He has to be shuffling because his diaper has been wrapped around him incorrectly and is three 'uses' past changing."
I have poor fine motor skills. My physical therapist mother says that I am low-toned. I don't know what that means, but I think it means I am good with the big crayons, not with fine pens.
And wedding presents are all about looking nice because they aren't opening them at the party. The presents have to look good through the whole party. This isn't Christmas or a birthday party, there is no tearing into gifts.
And I have this thing that weddings are all about me trying to get as much attention for myself on someone else's big day.
So what do I do? Buy pretty boxes and glue stuff on them.
This creation was one of my best and easiest so far, except I forgot to take it to the reception so it is sitting in the trunk of my car. The trunk of my car is not a good location for something to try to maintain its stunning luster. Now it will turn out like a blind dolphin's craft project (Yes, a blind dolphin. A blind dolphin still has all the intelligence of a real dolphin but it can't see so it isn't good at crafts. And it has flippers. Flippers are not good for crafts.)
Stupid dolphin box.