Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Just trying to buy a bottled water

The woman in front of my has states tattooed on her calves. I can't stop staring at them. I keep pretending I am interested in reading about spicy chicken and swiss hot sandwiches but I keep staring at the huge ILLINOIS tattoo on her left calf. It has to be about the side of a deck of cards(thank you food serving guide reference). Shades of grey create in the Chicago skyline filling the ILLINOIS silhouette. I try to look away but only stare at her right calf. There is MINNESOTA. The Minneapolis skyline can't compete with the Windy city so it wasn't nearly as full in this tattoo so the artist had filled in around the edges with snowflakes. Why are these tattoos on the backs of her legs? Written above the ILLINOIS tattoo and below the MINNESOTA were  curly, curving letters. The ILLINOIS tattoo said, "Born" and the MINNESOTA one said, "Raised." I get it, it is to provide an icebreaker for people who are standing behind you at Super America. I was supposed to say, "Oh, you were born in ILLINOIS huh? When did you move to MINNESOTA for your raising to begin?" I wonder if she has an other state tattoos. Like where she had her first kiss. First airplane ride? Where she went on a road-trip once. When she dies, is part of her burial preparation going to be giving her a "Died" state tattoo? If she dies in one of the states already listed then they can just add the word died. But if it happens in a new state, then a whole new state would need to be tattooed and let's hope that state has an impressive skyline, but if is was VERMONT I bet the artist could fill the state in with leaves. 

Should I be getting state tattoos? NORTH DAKOTA, IOWA, MISSOURI, INDIANA, OHIO, KENTUCKY, FLORIDA, MINNESOTA. I am a glamorous assortment of the Midwest. Or places I've been to, I could have a DELAWARE tattoo saying "Drove through" or GEORGIA tattoos that proclaims in swirly writing "Lay over".

I could have the whole globe put on my butt and I could just add push pins. 

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