Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I got these shoes.

They look really weird and gross when they are off. They are a little weird when they are on too, but let me tell you, these shoes are going to send me straight to the top.

This is why I bought them:

I don't know much about they other than they have a tag that says Rider and come in a tiny box.

In my recent trips to the Big Easy and the Big Apple, I spend a lot of time walking and carrying my bag of things.

Specifically, in New York I was hauling my computer around in a unattractive Overland Crescent Laptop bag, along with my fancy Target clogs. The bag, not only being unattractive, is also poorly designed so my computer alone consumed most of the space in the bag. The shoes had little room.

Why was I carrying shoes?

Well, I was participating in what the East Coasters call a Nor'easter! How neat! Wind, water and windwater everywhere. Luckily, thankfully and fortunately my friend had an extra pair of rainboots for me to wear about Manhattan and I had packed a second pair of pants. So my shoes had to be carried up an down Broadway.

If I had had these slight shoes I would have had the "Hello, I am fancy and well-dressed" look as well as the "It is raining upside-down outside, I still don't understand the subway system but I have an umbrella and an overconfident sense of direction" functionality.

When I sneak a peek at my feet in these shoes I see toe cleavage. That kind of grosses me out. But I have big plans for these shoes. Look how low profile they are! I paid for soles of the shoes and air! With that lack of overbuilding, they are fit into a tiny purse shoes. They are already slated to be hidden in my purse for the wedding so I can sneak them on when my yet-to-be-found orange shoes become an orange alert of foot terror (Who doesn't like that metaphor? Come on! It's sort of topical, if it was 2002.)

And I am going to wear them on the way too the wedding and change just outside the cemetery gates (Yes, that is what I said.)

I have discovered my sense of style is all about slight of hand. Which makes sense, after all, I am a spy.

And I tend to ignore sentence syntax.

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