Sunday, July 17, 2011

Fringe Friday #9: More Uniforms-ity

Plastic children wigs.
Your Responsibility for Sex Failure
Aug 4-14
MN Fringe Festival 2011
Minneapolis Theatre Garage

Uniform News!

What's sexier than a bunch of actors in a sexy show? 

A bunch of actors and a North Star Roller Girl in a show! Actor Daisy Donohue has just be selected as the newest member of the league. So you can see her kick ass onstage and on the track. Daisy plays the lovely, but distant wife, Carla Baldwin in Your Responsibility for Sex Failure.

Men in uniform news!
Also incredibly sexy are men in uniforms.

So get your fix every Friday night at HUGE Improv Theatre seeing Police Cop Detective PI featuring John Haynes who plays the dashing Doctor Baldwin in Your Responsibility for Sex Failure.

More Uniforms!
What's more better than one sexy nurse?

Three sexy nurses.

Yes, on Thursday night the Sex Failure's sexy nurse quotient tripled. Which means more sexy nurse outfits. Nurse uniforms are important, because without a uniform, a sexy nurse is just a sexy naked lady. 

AND THAT IS NOT THE SHOW WE ARE DOING.     At least not yet.

Today, I went to purchase the last of the uniforms at the good old uniform store. After finding the dress and asking about a return policy (since I needed my newest nurse, Mary, [in her debut theatrical role!] to try it on) the clerk asked if I was a professional. In my incredible honesty, I admitted this was for a play which made the clerk freaked out and explain that they had a very generous return policy for professionals. But theatres can suck her dick.  She's convinced that all theatres take photos of uniforms then return them with make-up on. Which I am sure has happened. But if she can tell me what 'real' 'professionals' are wearing nurse dresses not for any form of entertainment (wink, wink) and I'll show you a hospital full of fully insured horny perverts. After I used my incredible sweet talking skills, I managed to eek out a small 48hr return window should the dress not fit. Then I tried to pay for the dress and she needed to see my photo ID (clearly all theatre folk are also ID thefts) to which she replied "this can't possibly be you." She didn't believe it was me in my ID.

In her defense, my driver's license photo looks like this:

And I showed up at the uniform store looking like this:

But I was up all night fighting the indoor rainstorm coming from my ceiling and had a eyebrow wax that left my face with zits where my eyebrows used to be. This is why I usually let my eyebrows roam free, stupid vanity.

I have to admit, initially when she was in disbelief of my photo I thought is was because I looked so good today and so awful in my photo. I explained my ID photo was taken two years ago and I had lost a lot of weight and was wearing different clothes. When really it was because I look really put together in my photo and like a train-wrecked hobo zit-wraith in today's humidity (and usually). 

Whatever, she still let me give her money for a uniform she was certain I was going to try to return later. 


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