Monday, July 11, 2011

Fringe Friday #8: Quiz: Are you the perfect wife?

Your Responsibility for Sex Failure
Presented by Vintage Remix
Minneapolis Theatre Garage 
Aug 4-14

As part of this very special belated Fringe Friday blog, I am sharing with you a quiz from Home Chat magazine circa 1961

Are you the Perfect Wife?

I also provide my scores and commentary in blue, so prospective suiters know what kind of wife I have the potential to be. 

The answers will be in red, so keep a tally of your score as you go!

Let's get started!

Quizzes are fun, and they tell us a lot about ourselves that we might not otherwise own up to. This one sets out to show you how you line up as a marriage partner. 

Lock yourself away quietly somewhere, and answer each question honestly, putting the answers down on paper. 

When you score (we'll tell you how to do that at the end of the quiz) you'll know just how successful you are as your husband's 'better half"

1. Which of these age groups do you consider the ideal time for a woman to get married?
a) below 22
b) between 22 and 27
c) over twenty-seven Heather's Answer C. 
If you chose b, give yourself 1 point! 

2. When there's and outing in view, are you of the opinion that a wife should...
a) Choose the play, film or whatever it is?
b) be asked her opinion before the outing is planned? I chose this one. 
c) be ready to like whatever her husband chooses?
Get one point for answer b!

3. Sleep is a time when the sub-conscious runs free and behavior at that time tells many a story of the emotions.
a) do you dream a lot?
b) do you consistently over-sleep, though you're aware that it's time to get up? Me =b
c) do you wake up and lie for a while, planning the day?
1 point for answer c!

4. On the subject of marriage, do you consider that...
a) the advantages are mutual? They better be. A.
b) The primary purpose of marriage is the legal protection of women?
c) marriage is a social and religious necessity?
Give yourself a point for answer a.

5. There is a woman behind every successful man,’ assuming this to be true, would you say that the ideal wife should…
a) concentrate on looking after the creature comforts of her husband?
b) assist him in his work by learning all she can about it?
c) remain in the background because of the danger of nagging at the one extreme and rivalry of talent at the other?
I had no answer for this one.
Score 1 point  if you answered a!

6. Like most men, you husband had a number of girl-friends before he met you; some were serious affairs; others mere flirtations. If you both met one of these old flames, still unmarried, would you...
a) demand to know how serious the affair was?
b) laugh at the possibility of such a woman ever being a rival to you? Yup, I am conceited. b.
c) arrange things to that you never meet again?
Score 1 point for answer a!

7. At the annual dance of your husband’s firm, with whom do you consider your husband should dance first?
a) the boss’s wife—because it would probably enhance his position in the firm?
b) his secretary, as the girl obviously hopes he will 
c) you? Duh? c.
Score 1 point for answer b!

8. If you ever sit back and compare your husband with other men you know (especially your brother or father), do you tell yourself that ...
a) He's got one or two faults like every man, but they really don't matter. This. A.
b) he would be just perfect if only he would stop that little mannersim. ...of punching me....
c) he's just perfect. 
1 point for answer a!

9. Do you believe that the greatest power of love which human beings can show (excluding the unassailable love of a mother for her child) are between..
a) A man and woman before marriage
b) man and man, like David and Jonathan
c) members of the same family
d) Huey Lewis and The News
1 point for answer a!
I wonder why it says before marriage?

10. When your husband comes home with stories of troubles at work do you...
a) listen quietly
b) offer advice I would do this and he would hate me for it, then again, he's the one complaining 
c) tell him about your own problems of the day
Give yourself 1 point for answer b!
I am surprised I got a point for this.

11. A divoreced man is unlikely to make a good husband. Do you consider this to be generally true?
Probably not. 
Deduct 1 point if you answered yes!

12. Your husband manages to get a few days extra holiday, quite apart from the family fortnight by the sea. He suggests that the children be packed off to a relative while you both go away. Would your reaction be...
a) this was a thoughtful romantic scheme Yes. Yes. Yes
b) he was being selfish
c) it would be a perfectly miserable time for you
1 point for answer a!

13. Maybe your husband's tastes in clothes are a little out-of-date, but they are certainly definite. When he gives you some money to buy a new dress, do you...
a) Buy something fashionable because you know that eventually he will frow to like it.
b) make certain to get his favorite color
c) take the advice of a woman-friend or the saleswoman

Wait, my husband is giving me money? Is it my allowance? Did I have to mow the lawn first? I would buy a tattoo and a bucket of ice cream. 

1 point for answer a!

14. Who gets the early morning tea in your house?
a) Your husband
b) You
c) sometimes one, sometimes the other I chose c, and I am delighted we are fancy tea people.

1 point for answer c!

15. Most of us have to face the fact the bereavement is a possible future tragedy. In your thoughts about it is your first reaction
a) how you will manage financially?
b) how you will manage to go on living?
c) you hope you will die before your husband?

My answer, who do I sell all his porn to? Apparently, my pretend husband has quite a collection.

1 point for answer b!
How will I go on living? Good thing  I have those cyanide capsules.

16 If you husband fell seriously ill, would you prefer to
a) have a skilled nurse to help you:
b) get him to a good hospital right away? Yes. b.
c) nurse him yourself
1 point for answer a!
Really?  Well,  I hope he doesn' t want to get better.

17. Do you consider that perfect love could only be perfect if it consisted solely of the marriage of two minds and the physical side did not enter into it?
I don't understand this question.
If you said "yes" deduct 1 point.

18. Have you ever gone to the doctor about a pain which you are assured has no physical basis?
No. Going to the doctor is too expensive to pretend at.
If you said "yes" deduct 1 point.

19. Do you think that in a well-run home housework should be paid for like any other job by a stated proportion of the gross income?
If I am doing it, yes. 
If you said "yes" deduct 1 point.

20. Would you like to be back in your childhood days again?
Sure, but I am pretty sure I didn't leave.
If you said "yes" deduct 1 point.
In this examination paper, sixteen marks are the best possible score you can obtain. Any woman who can boast such a score has proved as so many wives always have, that the strange mixture of idealistic woman, helpmate, lover and foster-mother which all men hope to find combined in one woman, can be obtained

If your score is between 12 and 15, your husband can count himself as fortunate among men, as and far luckier than most as he probably realizes.

Between 8 and 11 is fairly good, though an examination of the questions where you made no score will show where you are failing in this difficult job of being a wife. Maybe you lost some marks on those ‘minus’ questions they are psychological ones which are really danger signals of hidden faults. Recognize their existence and you can put them right, adding marking to put yourself in a happier grouping.

Less than 8 would indicate that you have answered the questions without sufficient thought, for very few wives who are happy in their marriage will get such a low score.

I got a 5. My life is over.

Source: Home Chat, December 30th 1961


1 comment:

Voix said...

This post has established a deep and abiding love for you in my heart. *mwah*