Thursday, January 31, 2008

Toe Mollusk: Potential Gross-out Alert

My toenail has cracked at the bottom. It is like when you tear or crack a chunk off off your finger nail. It is ugly, ragged but doesn't hurt a ton. Same with the toenail crack. It is unusual because toenails, or at least my toenails, seem to be very thick so for it to crack would take a lot of force. And the crack is not on the outer edge which comes in contact with the largest variety of circumstances. 
I know how this came to be. Remember November? Who doesn't? Santa Claus but he was busy. Anyway, I wore shoes that were constricting for four weeks and developed bruises underneath my large toenails on both feet on the outside edges of the nails. The bruises were cool in the way that watching surgery is cool. They didn't hurt so I figured it wasn't a problem. Well, before I left on my cruise I painted my toenails to so unsuspecting strangers would not be intrigued by my bruised nails and wonder what kind of pedicures I got. 

All was well and good with my disguised feet until I went snorkeling (which is a whole blog on its own) I think the flippers ran across my feet at the luckiest angle and with the swimming and the fluttering I cracked the bottom of my toenails. At least the cracks match about  a quarter of an inch in from both sides are little cracks. I had no problem with the cracks until in my own arcaic) toenail clipping (I just ripped them off my hand), I pulled the whole side of the toenail up. I didn't pull it all off completely but it is extremely tempting. I have a toenail doorway right now. I like to look under it. When I was on the cruise sand would get under the toenail. I hope that in time my toenail would turn just one lucky grain of sand into a pearl. Pedi-pearls.

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