Wednesday, January 30, 2008
In The Bag
Today, I flew too close the the sun and my wings melted. I had four bags in my car to carry inside. Part laziness and part over confidence I thought I could take them all in at once. I slung the book bag over my shoulder (I need to point this out now so you don't later, no, it was not a backpack or I would have put it on my back), tourniqueted my wrist with the plastic bag and grabbed the handles on one of two paper bags. Success so far. Then I went for the final bag. I miss aimed and only grabbed one of the handles and with my amazing strength ripped it off. This ruined my easy cargo transportation. I still thought I could do it. I braced myself, grabbed the bag by the side and tried to pull it into the crook of my arm. The weight of the bag caused it to fall backwards which made me let go and try to "re-catch" the bag as it fell. The bag missed my hand slammed into the ground and started bleeding Fat Free, non-BGH-treated milk all over the subzero parking lot. I watched in fascinated horror as the milk rivered away my blueberries, I had so fondly admired for their french subtitling of bluets. My bluets! I quickly removed the salvagables from the milk soaked bag; a wet mango, lacerated avocado and a drippy sack of cilantro. By the time I had set down all my other bags and attended to the wet bag, the spilled milk had started to freeze on my hands and the parking lot. Best story ever.