Theatre History Lesson

"The devil is compromise."

                                   -Henrik Ibsen

Henrik Ibsen is my favorite playwright. His plays are filled with ideas of absolutes, all or nothing, duty versus happiness and universal truths.

Henrik Ibsen would have hated thong underwear. There is no commitment in a thong. It is not all or nothing, it says "I am sort of naked but I am not," it is  "I am being sexy but modest and gross at the same time," and 

"I don’t want my panty line to show but I want my cooch sheilded by wafer-thin fabric. This protects me, that shields me. But my ass is having a party.”

Sounds like a compromise, Ibsen would never wear such undergarments. 


I bet he didn't wear any.




Or twelve pairs at a time.

I wrote this a while ago and found it today!

June 32, 2009

The Internet just informed me that my epic High School/Grade school/Beyond crush was married in January. He is married. This really affects me. Why? I don’t know. I guess I always thought of him as a safe fantasy. But now he is married. I felt this way when Miss Eternal-Bags-Under-Her-Eyes took him to the prom. Why does the Internet know everything? Not that I ever really talked to this guy other than stammering self-consciously in 11th grade English class during an assignment about what would one need on a desert island. I said a swimming pool. I also remember having the fly on my black corduroy pants be down next to him during a movie in 10th grade and trying to figure out a subtle way to zip my fly back up, realizing now he wasn't ever looking at me and I could have just zipped it up and no one would have ever know but now I am telling the internet. I feel like I just missed some sort of deadline, like had I Googled him earlier, he would never have gotten married and could stay forever in my head as the guy I totally could have been with if I really wanted to. But he is married. I never would have guessed it. But I should have figured it out I have excellent taste. But I am a little bit vulnerable since I am coming off the best friend’s wedding thing where I was the most attractive and least married of all the bridesmaids and the only person that wanted to dance with me was the gay friend of the groom. I just wanted some Internet comfort food, some gazing at my untouchable crush and then he goes and gets married. Who am I to pine for now?

This is worse than my apartment manager thinking I have morning sickness when really I am doubled over from an intolerance to the dairy in the Caribou Coffee chai tea.

April 3, 2010

So maybe High School crush's marriage didn't work out....