Honestly Vermont Ugly It Up

Vermont. Choked with pretty. Everywhere I look is a
perfect postcard. I want to lick a stamp the size of
Rhode Island and stick it on Vermont. It is just
Vermont too, sure new Hampshire is nice, but when you
cross the state line it to New Hampshire is there a
speckled doe standing on the edge of the forest at
4:00 in the afternoon? I don't think so. I am sure
that deer is paid to be there because what deer in
their right mind stands next to a highway during the
day, not looking to dart in front of a car? But still,
it was there. And the hippies! Crocheted stocking hats
on adults and children, flowing skirts, sandals,
vegetarian options and wheelchairs with giant
hand-woven baskets attached. They were even teaching
the children dowsing on the State Capital lawn.
Dowsing! Public education and the government endorsing
such a hippie activity!
But the pretty. I can't even imagine the pretty in the
fall with the colors and the leaves. I would explode
and my glistening inners hanging from the majestic
gold, amber and bronze leaves would only make the
pretty even more inspiring and beautiful. My scarlet
blood only enhancing the warm tones of the burr oak
leaves.

But spring in the Vermont is stunning enough, light
green budding trees laced through gray-brown bare
branches with deep green evergreens punctuating the
display. Talk about composition! It is like a freaking
design school project. Foreground, background, rule of
thirds, depth, landscape, focal points, in Vermont any
moron with a camera is Ansel Adams.

Vermont is where all movies should be filmed and where
foreign visitors can only go. The pretty will improve
the world's view of America, the hippies will dispel
the notion of fat stupid Americans and the pretty will
make everyone want to be nice to us, like how people
are nice to pretty girls, even if they are stupid.

Vermont. Who knew they had the entire pretty?