Fringe Friday: Histories' Mysteries

Fringe Friday #2. (Here's Fringe Friday #1) The second the the series of updates on the creation of the show Your Responsibility for Sex Failure for the 2011 Minnesota Fringe Festival.


If you don't know by now, you will, Your Responsibility for Sex Failure is based on advice and articles from early 1960's ladies magazines. Think Cosmo 50 years ago.


Most of the magazines' stories are elaborate dramas involving the glamorous world of doctors and nurses.

As part of my research, my mom lent me her college yearbooks from 1960 to 1964. She let me steal them on the condition that I don't show anyone her picture:

 

This is not my mom. This is the 1964 Montana State Harvest Queen.

Did you really think my mom was the Harvest Queen?

Do you really think I would embarrass my mom like that?

Only like this: Can you find her in this sorority photo?

Did you find her?

Let me help you:

Ta-da!

Fun and games aside, I need to research sexy nurses.

Like these ladies:

Hot. 

Here's my interpretation of that:

Here's our show image! Come see our show! Aug 4-14th 2011
Minneapolis Theatre Garage.

Oh! Here's my mom again.

She's going to be so pretend angry.

To even things up here is a photo of me from 8th grade:

I don't know what is going on here. 

Fringe Friday: Sneak Peak!

From one of our show magazines.
Hello, 1964!

Friday Fringe Show Sneak Peak!

My MN fringe show, Your Responsibility for Sex Failure is close to having a show image!

Playing producer, I took photos of the photo shoot (how meta!).

That's the photographer Joey Ford behind the camera and Debra Berger as the sexy 1960's nurse in front of the lens. Joey was nice enough to let me hover around and take photos of the photo shoot.

Stay tuned for the final image to come! But don't hold you breath, it will be a few days!

And remember Your Responsibility for Sex Failure runs August 4-14, 2011 as part of the Minnesota Fringe Festival. All performances will be at the Minneapolis Theatre Garage.

Self photo montage. Heather-tage!

Photographer Cadence Cornelius took these photos of me. I am impressed. 

I really like Norm MacDonald.

I really like Norm MacDonald.


I know, most people don't even know what that means. Those people are stupid and younger than me.

He's my favorite Weekend Update Anchor. Frank Stallone.

My favorite Norm MacDonald movie moment is from Billy Madison, when Norm says, "I'll go put some beer in a bucket."

My brother, Brian has a super weird sense of humor. It's weird but funny. Norm is weird and funny. Brian and Norm have the same sense of humor and the exact same delivery of such so called funny verbalizations.

And you know what happened?

I think Norm MacDonald and my brother are the same person. Look.

  

Who is who?  Let me try again.

    

Pretty good this time.  If Brian smiled for pictures he'd look like Norm. I look like my brother. 

See:

      

Cheekbones people, cheekbones. 

Man, I should have adopted that stray cat, instead of picking in up rubbing it all over myself then going inside to eat pizza and watch YouTube videos with actors.  Then I could have worn it on my head and looked even more like Norm MacDonald. 

Maybe I think I am Norm MacDonald.

Frank Stallone.

Flashback!

This is me!! I think I am about 3 years old. I have a broken ankle!

More Roots with Eyes

I think they might be planning something

Carrots with Eyes!

Once a spaz, always a spaz

As a spaz, I never disappoint. 

 Check out me spazzing out at my mom's birthday. You can't see it but there is a plastic turkey on that cake because I insisted my Aunt put the turkey on the cake. Nothing says Happy Birthday Mom like a tiny plastic turkey.

The spazzing doesn't stop when the candles get blown out!!!

She bangs!!!

I am not going to blog about my haircut. But I totally am blogging about my haircut. I don't usually get haircuts. But I did today and I was pretty much given the haircut I have been trying my whole life to over come.

Hairdressers like to give my giant forehead bangs. I am sure they look fine but to me bangs just make me think of awkward growing-up-ness. I had the bangs that started on the center top of my head and came forward making a thick dense curtain just above my brow bone. It took me all of my seventh grade year to overcome those bangs until finally I got rid of them completely and have recovered from bangs vowed never to go back there again. I should have stopped her but I let Lushtastic cut away and away and ta-da, they are back.

Why is my arm doing that? Did I have an itch? That is my "I'd rather be riding Ginger" t-shirt. Look at those bangs!!!

And here is me 20 years ago with the same haircut:

And obviously the same sense of style. Bright colored t-shirts. And yes, my tongue still makes that weird shape.

Bangs.

Oscars for everyone

Get ready to see the finalist of the Women Stand Up and Shoot Comedic Film Competition!

Tonight 10pm at the the Bryant Lake Bowl, see the top ten films and clap wildly when the winners are announced!

My film ZOMBIE SWEATER is one of the finalist! Zombie Sweater was written and directed by me! With fabulous costumes by textile artist Stephanie Brown.

And Actors!!

They are great!

Here's a photo from one of our shoots!

Awesome, right?

To see more, come to the Bryant Lake Bowl tonight at 10pm!

Uptown Easter! A Photo Essay...and words, I guess you can come too.

Detective Heather.
Objective: Find Easter
Go.

There I am! Easter must include a festive dress. So this is my wool dress from the now disappeared Lava Lounge (kudos to Mary C. for making me get it), denim jacket from Steph B. and those are my comedy shoes (that is what you wear to make comedy, closed-toe shoes).

Here's what I found:

You can't bake an Easter without cracking a few eggs! At least these were hard boiled. I wanted to eat them, but they already had a hard time today. 

And you can't have Easter without......

Compost!

Get it? The whole dying and coming back to life thing? It's just compost.

But if that metaphor still eludes you, how about this:

Death! Zombie Easter Christ Face! I bet Jesus was way better looking that this, though, he was only dead three days and he had divinity on his side, that's gotta have some great stylist contacts. This motorcycle was clearly dead for months or at least long enough for the flesh to pull away from the bone like award-winning barbeque before it re-animated itself. 

And the final sign of Easter:

My own personal stigmata! Take that Minneapolis. You're bleeding blue paint from your light posts, the sign of the second coming! 

I didn't really tag the post, it was already there.

But it is my initials. 

Maybe I've been sleep walking.

Why is there blue paint on my hands?

Lights, Camera...Ladies, where's my car? or Bring unto me photos of my face

Once upon a time
in December 2009,
On a cool and frigid Friday  
things were going my way.
New photos of my face
taken at Cadence's studio place!

I drove to the studio amused
the parking was a bit confused,
because it was indeed day three
of the first snow emergency.

Camera flash and smile bright,    
we ended the session for the night.
Once outside, I look for my car,
empty street on the side that I par(k)

One curbside so empty, not one is left
except for a large taxi to help the bereft.
I can't see my car and I having a ride not
must spend my eve at the Mpls impound lot

"You need a taxi?" Squeeked a woman
sitting in her car as on out-of-place omen.        
"Look right there." She points across,
And I walk over feeling my auto loss.                                                  

The taxi-man pulls his cab forward to meet
me as I walk across the plowed street.
The six inches ahead he has moved,
reveals that my fears are soothed.
                                                                                                        
With a trick of the eye and odd forced perception,
my car had been hidden by the cab's full extension.
"No cab for me." I cooly and sheepishly explain,
just as I hear Cadence and Micheala's laughter in exclaim.

I laughed in the street and they did too,
impressed at what my conclusions could jump to.
The moral of the poem is if you car is what you don't see
it's only because the view is blocked by a taxi.

                                                       http://www.cadencecornelius.com/

Halloween Part 1

Halloween collage of textures!

Undercover cop? Sexy Lady Bug? Prostitute? Bride of Frankenstein?

The Inconvenient Monsters go to the Park

Today, the inconvenient monsters and I went to the park. They had a great time trying to play on all of the park toys. Alas, disappointment set in when they discovered that many playthings required arms.