Fringe Friday #4: The Beginning

Heather and Mary are friends. Mary moved into a house. Heather did not. Mary found a stash of 30 1960's women's magazines in the closet of her new home. Heather did not. Mary shared her cultural archaeological find with with her friends. Everyone laughed and then Heather said, "That is a fringe show." 

Then:

Lottery ball goes in. Lottery ball comes out. 

Now, Mary and Heather made a fringe show.

The magazine that started it all:

And the article:

Sexy. Campy. Doctory. It's 1964.

Your Responsibility for Sex Failure

Created by Heather Meyer and Mary Certain

Coming to a Minnesota Fringe Festival near you

August 4-14, 2011

Minneapolis Theatre Garage

Fringe Friday #3: Blonde Bombshell

 Your Responsibility for Sex Failure
Produced by Vintage Remix as part of the Minnesota Fringe Festival. Performances at the Minneapolis Theatre Garage August 4-14, 2011. Be there.


Fringe Friday #3.  A wig came in the mail today. A blonde wig. Of course, I immediately put it on. And then dressed up like Betty Draper. If you squint enough, the look works. Good thing as part of the show we are going to have the entire audience have their eyes dilated as part of the opening. It's art, who's going to argue with that?


I just lied there, we aren't going to dilated the audience's eyes. Not with chemicals. Though, I can't say that the audience won't get dilated from arousal from a such a sexy show (or such a sexy show about sex failure). eye dilation is a sign of arousal. I learned that in Junior High. 


I don't even know what character or actor is wearing this wig in the show. I just know that this wig is in the show. 

Anyway, here's what you are waiting for:

I can't show you the whole look because that would ruin the surprise. 

I lied again. 

I can't show you the whole look because my arms are only so long to take photos of myself.    

But if you look really close you can see my attempts to lighten up the color of my eyebrows.

Sorry for all the lying, instead look at theses articles.

Yeah, this show is going to be something. 

Flashback! Feb 2010

I went on a cruise with my family over a year ago.

That is almost all that needs to be said, but I have pictures! They were taken by my mom with her digital camera and then she send the prints to me (so I have to scan them in, but one step at a time). And I am lazy.


But here's a teaser!

Port of Entry: New Orleans; Cafe Du Monde

Here is me and my brother (notice his Vince Vaughn/Norm MacDonald resemblance). I look like an angry city woman with my sugar mountain beignets.

While in the French Quarter, I realized I could use my Theatre degree to spray paint myself silver and pose near an also spray painted boombox for change (jingle change, not Obama change).

Yeah, you have to tilt your head.

Fringe Friday: Histories' Mysteries

Fringe Friday #2. (Here's Fringe Friday #1) The second the the series of updates on the creation of the show Your Responsibility for Sex Failure for the 2011 Minnesota Fringe Festival.


If you don't know by now, you will, Your Responsibility for Sex Failure is based on advice and articles from early 1960's ladies magazines. Think Cosmo 50 years ago.


Most of the magazines' stories are elaborate dramas involving the glamorous world of doctors and nurses.

As part of my research, my mom lent me her college yearbooks from 1960 to 1964. She let me steal them on the condition that I don't show anyone her picture:

 

This is not my mom. This is the 1964 Montana State Harvest Queen.

Did you really think my mom was the Harvest Queen?

Do you really think I would embarrass my mom like that?

Only like this: Can you find her in this sorority photo?

Did you find her?

Let me help you:

Ta-da!

Fun and games aside, I need to research sexy nurses.

Like these ladies:

Hot. 

Here's my interpretation of that:

Here's our show image! Come see our show! Aug 4-14th 2011
Minneapolis Theatre Garage.

Oh! Here's my mom again.

She's going to be so pretend angry.

To even things up here is a photo of me from 8th grade:

I don't know what is going on here. 

Re: Can i trust you with this funds?

I am America

Am I a jerk for not helping this woman out?

She sent me two emails today asking for help. Two emails. One minute apart from each other. She must really need help, especially since the emails were exactly the same. 

Though, I was pretty swayed for a moment when she called me Beloved. And she has a cancerous ailment.

Re: Can i trust you with this funds?

MRS. GHAYTH FAIZA.

23, Hawley Crescent,
Camden Town, London,
NW1 8NP, England.

Dear Beloved,

Here writes Mrs. Ghayth Faiza, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am
married to Watson Ghayth an Arabian who is dead. My husband was into
private practice all his life before his death. Our life together as man
and wife lasted for three decades without a child. My husband died after a
protracted illness. My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden
and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can
not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament. I
can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship,
which never came.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Two Million Great
Britain Pound Sterling which were derived from his vast estates and
investment in capital market with his bank here in UK. Presently, this
money is still with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have
limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from.

Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the
cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family and I, I have
decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which
comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers,
orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children,
barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped
financially.

It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this
decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and
my husband's relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not
want my husband's hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill
perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be
used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision.
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am
going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on.

The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not need
any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health
and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me, I do not
want them to know about this development. With God all things are
possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of
the Bank in UK. I will also issue you a Letter of Authority that will
empower you as the original beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that
I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through
your life.

Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to
hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family.

Reply to my mail through my email address: mrs-ghaythwatson044@w.cn

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Ghayth Faiza
mrs-ghaythwatson044@w.cn

I didn't help her, but I am toying with the idea of using her email address to sign up for email newsletters and coupons. Or I can use it at places that want me to give them my email address for whatever reason. 

I want to sell the spammers to other spammers. Through cannibalism. Spamiblism. 

Milestone

Not my license plate, but my name.

My car is 9 years old. When I bought it, it had 42 miles on it. I bought it at a huge discount after a driver's ed program was finished using it. So it was a 'new' car but really not.

The dealership in my hometown has some sort of amazing deal with the high school that it will provide brand-new cars for the students to learn to drive on every summer. If you want to learn about my driver's ed experience, go here and read my diary from that adventure.

The dealership is banking that once the kids learn to drive on these fancy new cars, that their parents will then by them a similar fancy new car with the belief that it is a safe choice since this is the car the kid learned on.

Well, at the end of driver's ed, the dealership sells the cars at a pretty meaty discount because:

a) The new models have already come out.
b) No one wants to buy a car that idiots learned to drive on
c) all of the above.

The correct answer is C. So I bought my car the late summer of 2002. It's been everywhere with me. We are kind of married, my car and I.  And this winter we celebrated a milestone. 100,000 miles. (Really I should have celebrated 100,042 miles) but who's counting.

I was lucky enough to capture the moment on film.

Good luck getting those two minutes of your life back.

Here's the Cliff's Note Version:

If you didn't watch the movie, you missed all the awesome banter between me and Mike. Of course, the word awesome is subjective.

Fringe Friday: Sneak Peak!

From one of our show magazines.
Hello, 1964!

Friday Fringe Show Sneak Peak!

My MN fringe show, Your Responsibility for Sex Failure is close to having a show image!

Playing producer, I took photos of the photo shoot (how meta!).

That's the photographer Joey Ford behind the camera and Debra Berger as the sexy 1960's nurse in front of the lens. Joey was nice enough to let me hover around and take photos of the photo shoot.

Stay tuned for the final image to come! But don't hold you breath, it will be a few days!

And remember Your Responsibility for Sex Failure runs August 4-14, 2011 as part of the Minnesota Fringe Festival. All performances will be at the Minneapolis Theatre Garage.