letter to blog

Hi Blog! Look at you! You are here on the internet. Out in the big wide world. Are you making friends? You don't seem to write home often, or at all. I send you letters. Do you get them? Did you like the cookies I made for you? It is important that I send you cookies. You don't have to eat them. Obviously, I would like you to eat them. But I understand if you don't.  I just make the kind that come in the bag, pre-portioned and pre-frozen and all I do is shake them out on a baking sheet and cook them like fish sticks. But I make them for you. The whole time I am getting the bag out of the freezer and tearing the plastic open and dumping them out I am thinking, "Blog is going to love these cookies so much. She will be so delighted and think of me each time she eats one of these individually loved cookies."  I am proud of you blog. For going out there with all those other blogs. There are a lot of blogs out there, I know you probably feel lost in the shuffle. But I know you are there. I think of you and write to you. You are important to me. You are just fine, blog.

Urban Bean

I think the Urban Bean girl thinks I am cheap. I ordered my expected Chair Tea (by the way Urban Bean also has the Oregon Chai Green Tea which is also excellent) and as she turned to make my delciousness I saw that the totally was $3.90. Luckily, I had five actual dollars. Ok, I say to myself, four of these dollars will pay for chai and one will be tip. Why am I holding this money like a fan like this? I don't need her to see me put the dollar in the tip jar for me to know I tipped her. So I put the dollar in the mug, I did put it in lightly so it looked like it was just recently placed and gravity hadn't pulled into down into the depths of the coins. When she returned with my tea, she I gave her the four dollars and she gave me my ten cents back, I also dropped that into the tip mug. She saw that. So she knows I tip annoying coins, but she doesn't know that I gave her a dollar when she wasn't looking. And then I went into the back room I had never sat in before and it became laptop station and everyone it there had the reusable mugs. I had the disposable cup, with lid and straw! I am the outcast. Most people in here are in their pajamas too. Or old and very wide with ice.  Me, always the stand out.

burning

My eyes keep burning. Is that like when your ears are burning when someone is talking about you? Or when your nose itches someone is thinking about you? My eyes burn. Mainly when I put in my eye drops. Maybe my eye drops are really acid. Acid drops. Isn't Acid Pops a thing? Does that exist. Sometimes only one of the eyes will independently tear. My eyes are asserting their independence in this healing process. Funny. So much dripping.

Metaphors!

Filled with metaphors. Had my Lasik Eye Enhancement yesterday. Wasn't nearly as pleasant as the first time, a little bit Clockwork Orangey, unpleasant, but coming out the other side was amazing. I can see clearly for the first time sine January (metaphor alert). I am stunned at the details I can see, like a vampire's eyes (or so I've heard).  I feel awake. I still wear my space goggles at night and yesterday was a pretty uncomfortable five hours. When I finally decided to open my eyes I was a little nervous. I was afraid the flap would open up with my eyelids. I remember them painting it down after the laser happened. Weird. The eye doctor's were supposed to call me yesterday to see how I was doing. The didn't I even gave them the right number. I supposed it was too late, but I was ready. Turns out nobody called to check on me. I didn't tell my mom I was having the surgery done yesterday, won't she be surprised. It was kind of a last minute decision but I was still hoping I had slept through the phone. The best part of Lasik Eye surgery was listening to the Amanda and Brooke Radio show. It was pretty great. I also was sleepy on Valium. And walking like a drunk person. I didn't remember doing that last time but last time it was a quicker ride home and I had Wendy's this time I was in the car longer and on my Valium feet more so it was super fun getting to the futon. Weeee!!!! In optimism there is magic.

Rockstar

Rockstar. That is all I can say. Rockstar. Who else walks into a Caribou Coffee right after a 90 min Bikram yoga class, swiftly showered and immediately turns heads.  And then is approached by an adoring fan, oohhing and ahhing over my sunglasses that aare perched atop my nested (non-showered) sweaty sticky hair.  And I totally upped the coolness factor when I said they were $12 from a gas station. In North Dakota.  And my fan assured me they looked nothing like a pair from a gas station. She kept talking about them. I kept looking and her one long tooth. She was smartly dressed, I am half dressed in this new shirt I bought that is lopsided (not on purpose) and braless.  I also kept thinking, "how is this going to end?" Should I introduce myself? Are we friends now?  Then my 20 oz of Chai tea showed up. Saved my the chai. Rockstar. Rockstar.

More chair tea talk

In my chai tea connoisseuring of the Twin Cities, the peppermint chai tea latte at the Tea Garden in pretty great. And just so you know Caribou Coffee, Urban Bean, and Starbucks all use the Oregon Chai you can buy at the store. But you cannot buy free Wi-Fi at the store. By the way, Starbucks makes you buy a Starbucks card to use the Wi-Fi, what is up with that. Dunn Bros has their own chai recipe, it is a bit spicer and deeper than the Oregon Chai. But the Tea Garden has so many options! The peppermint in my tea makes me think I can skip brushing them.

Chips

Why do I only eat chips today? Not a mono diet. Cracked Salt and Pepper Kettle Cooked Lays and Cool Ranch Doritos.* Two members of the chip food groups. I think banana and bagel chips round out those basic four food groups.  Kettle chips are loud. I prefer the Kettle chips to Doritos. Doritos I do not love, but enjoy. I will take Doritos out to movies, but I will not shave for them. Kettle chips, however, there is shaving, waxing and tweezing for and the agonizing which underwear will be the most alluring yet, most disguising of nervous butt sweat.  Oh, kettle chips. *Thanks for Geoff for the providing of such exquisite crunchies.